Asking For A Smoke Break

 

Hey boss, cool if I take my fifteen to go smoke a cigarette, all while slightly misting in the eye about how I ended up working at a grocery store in the middle of the worst global health crisis in decades? Alright, see you in a bit.


Yo Boss, fine if I go out back, sit on the ledge in the loading dock, intensely chain smoke at least three cigarettes while remaining mindlessly fixated on spot on the concrete wall a couple feet in front of my face? Then come back inside and absentmindedly cheer on geriactric customers struggling to use their debit cards? Cool? Thanks.


Hey Boss, would it be fine if I took my break and did my thing again? You know, where I lay down in my car, plug my airpods in, rip off my mask, inhale the sweet smoke of a light green spirit, and emotionally fuck the saddest song I can find on Spotify? I think I’d give better customer service on register next hour if I did. Thanks.


Aye Boss, was wondering if it would be a good time for me to go take that routine break I normally take, where I leave in a good mood, joyfully walk across the parking lot to my car, smoke a cigarette, ponder the vast infinitude of our universe and its relation to my meager paycheck, get bummed out, and slowly mope back across the parking lot with an empty look in my eyes that makes customers feel uncomfortable for the rest of my shift? Sound good? Awesome.